Corps, not Corpse!

Now Your (insert word that begins with 'S') Commences.

If you read the title right, I remove headdress for you.
REMOVEEEE HEADDRESS!

“Corper weeeeeeeee
Corper shunnnnnnn
Ajuwayaaaaa(wiree)”

All of these are things I haven't heard much of since I got back from Okada camp, Edo. This, of course, is because outside of my compound, nobody in the neighborhood knows I'm a 'you-know-what'. But this bliss can't last forever...

- end melancholic intro.

Being a corper is actually hard, and I haven't even been doing this for a month yet. Camp was insanity, and if I hadn't already experienced the different strains of it at A-level school and University, I might have lost it!

If you've ever been to camp, then the following paragraph would not be total gibberish. If you haven’t been to camp before, try to keep up.

I had fun, not gonna lie.

- I was a radio presenter AKA 'Big brother' at the OBS.
- I wrote and narrated a stageplay for my Platoon (Platoon 10! Unity!)
- I shot and directed three shorts thanks to my SAED practical, two of which I'm in danger of losing forever (pray for me, plis).
- I found love in a hopeless place (and that's all you're getting).
- I lifted Buhari, although in retrospect maybe I should have let him down (the flag, biko, I carried a corner of the flag).
- I taught videography.
- I joined the NCCF drama unit and I acted, twice in one night.
- I chopped slap, twice in one night (okay this part wasn’t fun).
- I even got like two job offers, which would be awesome, had I not decided to redeploy back to the city of excellence.

You can call me best in camp, cus I had way too much fun. I found my people, many times over (OBS crew, NCCF fam, HALL 1 bros, Platoon 10 gees, and the list goes on). But now, the shine shine don clear for eye. Allowee has finished! I no get PPA.

I ‘left’ the rest of Nigeria for less than a month and I come back to a s***show! How na? How did y'all let it get this bad? I joined this NYSC thing because I wanted mon... to serve the fatherland, but now it's like the labour of our heroes' past don dey in vain o!

Corper wey suppose dey chop well don lose like 10kg, is this life? Please, na NYSC corps I join, I no wan become NYSC corpse.

Now, rant aside, the three weeks I spent at Okada camp are definitely among some of the best I've ever had. But it's like I'm still on that wave and by God's grace I'm not coming down any time soon. I had a bit of self development and realized a few more of my flaws and strengths. It was an eye opener, and an experience I'm grateful for.

Now, all this one that I'm praising them, allow me to list their crimes.
- Waking us up 4:30am because of morning meditation
- Attention by numbers
- beans and pap
- Attention by numbers
- Compulsory 'parties'
- Attention by numbers (okay, it's this thing where you raise your leg to 'come to attention'. The stamping hurt my knee cus we were using RUBBER SHOES to practice)
- No working sockets in the room to charge with
- Bottled water at #150
- And many others

The above stand trial for making camp insufferable. Every once in a while now, I catch myself walking in a slow march or standing at ease. It’ll take a while to undo what they did to me, but I guess I’ve got the rest of the year!

It’s still too early to say how I feel about this whole service thing, but I am determined to make the most of this year. Subscribe to the newsletter for better pieces and to see how this year goesssssss.

This was a very impromptu and unplanned writeup, but I just wanted to let you know that the newsletter is now open!

PS, any gist that I may have hinted at in this newsletter, don’t worry. It will have its day 😂!

Meanwhile, I haven’t forgotten I have a podcast… I should get back to that, no? https://linktr.ee/whatajokepod (here’s a link 😊)