Giving up has always been an option
I think about giving up at least one time a day. I’m being Bayo here—cus I’m not Frank, get it?
I do so much and balancing a lot of it can be very difficult. I hate to quit, so I often end up overworked and overwhelmed, and in times like that, I talk to myself, debate, and decide. It usually goes something like this—
“I’m tired. I don’t think I can continue with this other job. I’ll just quit; tell them I can’t go on. Even if they don’t understand, sorry.”
And then the guilt sets in.
“Have you shown significant results enough to say you can leave? Haven’t you been more like a leach? Just sucking salary and giving them what they think they want to see?”
“No, maybe. Look, I’ll help them find a replacement, I’ll even do without pay for the last month. I just think they’d be better off without me.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“Yeah, so, when are we quitting?”
No response
And then I figure it out, how to go on and not lose my mind. Why?
Faith, belief, call it FOMO even, but we’ve all made sacrifices, and I don’t like quitting. Because whether you’re the project lead or just a cog in the machine, you’d be making life hard for everyone else, sometimes even invalidating all of their prep and expectations.
It’s not even a people pleaser thing, but it’s how I was raised, I guess. I think about others before myself, and sometimes it’s detrimental, still, it allows me to sleep at night. Maybe it’s an ISFP-A thing?
I think about giving up at least once a day, and then look for a reason to go on, because even when I say I’m going to stop, I keep going. Voicing it out is my coping mechanism.
I'm glad you keep going.