The Nigerian Dream...
Oh look, I'm here again today
The Nigerian Dream
Step 1 - Don’t be born in Nigeria
The Nigerian Dream… (if Plan A fails)
Step 1 - Be born with a dual citizenship or into a stupidly rich family (old money with a trust fund will suffice)
Step 2 - Relocate outside the country
Step 3 - Only come back for Detty December
The Nigerian Dream… (if Plan A and B fail)
Step 1 - Work hard
Step 2 - Earn enough to relocate outside the country
Step 3 - Gain a citizenship and never look back
Mahmoud Adépòjù was one of the few millions of Nigerians globally who had achieved the Nigerian dream, and early on too, some forty years ago during the first ‘Japa wave’ or ‘brain drain’ as it was called. He was one of the best and brightest the country had but he saw no future for himself in Nigeria, so he ventured out to achieve the Nigerian Dream… if Plan A and B fail.Of course, after successfully completing steps 1, 2 & 3, Mahmoud had failed to realise that the Nigerian Dream was, yet still, incomplete. Now, after four decades of hard work, raising a family of four loving children and retiring, all in the US, he finds himself alone, staring at a—“Margaret!”
“Yes Mr. Poorjew,” Margaret replied with a sigh and a smile. She’d been the man’s caretaker for three years now and she knew how insufferable he could be, and yet she couldn’t help but find him endearing. “Is something wrong with your—“
“Something is wrong with this soup,” Mahmoud complained. “I asked for gbegiri and ewedu—“
Margaret cuts him off laughing. “Mr. Poorjew, you always know how to make a girl laugh. What’s a baygeeree?”
“Oh God, I did this to myself. A young sixty years old man like me, I should be enjoying the fruits of my labour back in my home country, but no, that white she devil took everything, now I’m drinking flavoured water and they’re calling it soup.” It would be great to note, that while old Mahmoud’s stare darted back and forth between his bowl of water soup and the young caretaker, very grumpily I might add, he was indeed, 100% blind.
Cataracts took one eye and greed took the other.
“Mr. Poorjew, I swear if you said the name of a real soup I’d do everything in my power to get it to you,” Margaret retorts jokingly. She leans in closer to whisper. “I got sanctioned just trying to get you that goosey soup.”
“Blood of Jesus, Egusi,” Mahmoud replied, exasperatedly.
“What?”
“Egusi!”
Margaret laughs. “Alright Mr. Poorjew, see you at 6pm.” She gives him a peck and catwalks away. “Sweet old man.”
If only Mahmoud Adepoju was one of the few thousands of Nigerians globally who had achieved The true Nigerian Dream… if Plan A and B fail.
Step 1 - Work hard
Step 2 - Earn enough to relocate outside the country
Step 3 - Gain a citizenship
Step 4 - Bring all that money back in your 50s and build a mansion in your village, gain a chieftaincy and live out the rest of your days with good soup.
Yeah.